Whether or not you celebrate Valentine’s Day, the occasion is hard to ignore. Shops are filled with flowers and chocolates, and Facebook is filled with written expressions of love. Valentine’s Day is, for many people, a very happy occasion. A day to celebrate love and romance is surely no bad thing?
What if, this year, something doesn’t feel quite right? What if you’re dealing with suspicion and doubt, and wonder if your spouse might be cheating?
You don’t need to be a private investigator to notice some of the subtle signs that all might not be well in your relationship. Most people realise when their partner starts behaving a bit differently.
Whilst odd behaviour is not a guarantee that your partner’s been seeing someone else, there are some tell-tale clues to look out for if you think your spouse might be cheating.
What are the signs that your spouse is cheating?
Cheating partners usually have quite similar patterns of behaviour. There are some very obvious signs, and some a bit harder to spot.
Protective of Devices
Has your spouse stopped leaving their phone in full view? Do they always take it with them when they leave the room?
If they might be receiving messages from somebody else, your partner won’t want to risk letting you set eyes on their phone.
Also look out for a phone that’s always on silent, when it used to be set to full volume. Your spouse might not want you to notice how many texts they’re getting!
A cheating spouse will be trying to justify their unfaithful behaviour. They don’t want to feel guilty, so they’ll start to believe you’re to blame. You might notice that your partner’s picking fights or criticising you more frequently. In their mind, if they can make it seem like you’re the ‘bad guy’ their cheating will be for good reason.
Talking About Someone Else
You might notice that someone else’s name is coming up in conversation more frequently. Even if your spouse tries to hide who they’re seeing, you might hear that person’s name in an increasing number of conversations.
Sex Life Changes
Does your sexual relationship seem less intimate? Has sex become less frequent? These could be signs that your spouse is getting their physical or emotional needs fulfilled elsewhere.
Less frequent sex isn’t the only sign that your partner might be being unfaithful. You might instead find that sex seems more adventurous, as though your partner’s been getting tips from someone else.
Has casual conversation reduced to a minimum? Does your partner seem to be putting less effort into your relationship? If your partner seems detached from the relationship, they could be busy elsewhere. They might have stopped caring what happens at home, because they’ve got someone else to focus on.
If you have children, emotional detachment can have an impact on them as well. Your spouse might be spending less time with the kids, or may be less involved in parenting decisions and less interested in your child’s life.
Around Less Often
If your partner works outside the home, you might find that they’re working longer hours or getting home later than they used to. They might have excuses for this behaviour, and their reasons could be genuine, but are you sure they’re really going to the gym after work? Have the trains been delayed more often, or is something else going on?
If your partner works from home, there could still be opportunities for meeting with somebody else. If they go on lunchtime walks, are these getting longer? If they’re the one that does the grocery shop, are they gone for a reasonable amount of time or does it seem like they’re taking forever?
Changing Opinions About Affairs
Some partners aren’t great at hiding when they’re having an affair. If your partner would have once put your mind at ease, or told you they could never cheat, their opinion might now have changed. If they can suddenly understand why some people might cheat, or if they start to justify someone else’s infidelity, this could be a sign that they’re changed their perspective because they’re doing the same.
Rather than justifying cheating as a whole, your partner might start to justify certain behaviours. They might argue that a ‘quick friendly kiss’ isn’t cheating, or that ‘flirting is innocent if it doesn’t go any further’. These kinds of comments could be signs that your partner is shifting their boundaries.
Affairs aren’t always free of charge. If an affair continues for a while, your partner may start spending money on the other man or woman. They might buy gifts, take this person on dates or help them with their everyday bills. If you notice unexplained purchases and transactions on your bank statements, this could be a sign that your partner is using your money to treat someone else.
Perhaps your partner used to go to bed at the same time as you, but they’re now staying up late? Maybe you’re always the first to fall asleep and you don’t know exactly when they drift off? If your partner’s always awake later than you, they could be deliberately staying awake so they can speak to somebody else. Sending messages once you’re asleep is much easier than sneaking around during daylight hours.
More Interested in Your Schedule
In order to maintain their extra-marital relationship, your partner will need to make sure you won’t discover their secret. They might suddenly start taking more of an interest in where you go and what you do. If your partner starts asking where you’re going, and asking how long you’ll be gone, they could be working out how much time they’ll have to meet or speak with somebody else. If they’re meeting someone else in a public place, they might want to make sure there’s no chance you’ll be in the same area.
What can you do if you think your partner’s cheating?
If you believe that your partner’s cheating, you need to do something about it. Ignoring your suspicions will only lead to a relationship built on mistrust.
You can try to confront your partner, but there’s a good chance they’ll deny it. The more evidence you have, the more chance you’ll have of getting them to admit their infidelity.
At EJM Investigations, our private investigators can help you get the evidence you need. We can help put your mind at ease or find out what’s really going on. Our service is discreet and professional. If something feels wrong this Valentine’s Day, we’re just a call away on 01772 334 700.